ahahahaha. Iowafuckinghawk does proverbs! brilliant stuff. I’ve excerpted a LOT of them, but go read to see the ones I left out.
love the Mulleti ones:
“Beware the eye of the tiger, for he is a survivor, and he knows many power ballads.”
Mulleti
“The tawny kitten writhes before the white snake.”
Mulleti
“The blue oyster does not fear the reaper.”
Mulleti
“Every rose has its thorn — made from poison.”
Mulleti
“Embrace the foreigner, for he only wants to know what love is.”
Mulleti
And some other favorites:
“If you want to travel fast, travel alone. If you want to travel far, travel together. If you want to travel in comfort, fake an ankle sprain and convince the other travelers to carry you.”
Ashanti
“Do not curse the crow who has stolen you chili; tomorrow his rectum will curse the dawn.”
Thai
“The happy man has two chickens; the wise man shares one with the man who has none. The prudent man reports the happy man to the authorities, so they can wise him up.”
Cuban
“Even the wisest turtle cannot understand the sea. Get real dude, he’s a fucking turtle.”
Samoan
“The clever old leopard does not fear double parking in Midtown, for his limo has UN plates and he has diplomatic immunity.”
Malawi
“The single lotus blossom that brushes against river jade can defeat an army of steel fire-dragon. Well, okay, maybe that’s just the opium talking.”
Chinese
“A wise man offers his millet to be shared among the village, for his gift will be repaid a thousand times in gratitude. A wiser man takes somebody else’s millet and offers it to the village. Guess what? Same gratitude, and extra millet for good ol’ numero uno.”
Ethiopian
“The loyal dog feasts, but the treacherous cat no can haz cheezburgr.”
Hungarian
“The power of the leader is like his loincloth: worn too tight it will ride up and chafe, worn too loose it will expose all his junk.”
Ibo
